Wanting some encouragement before your wedding? You’ve come to the right place!
Welcome to the first blog of my Brides Talk series! This series is all about recently married brides passing down their wisdom on all things wedding/marriage to soon-to-be brides. Exciting right?! I mean if these ladies can’t help out, no one can. Also please enjoy my significantly less helpful commentary on these words of wisdom!
1. “Layout expectations whether they be small or big, just write them down and actually tell your partner why they’re important to you. “– Kacee 28
Okayyy so I’ll be the first one to admit it, I’m totally guilty of this! I mean poor Dawson, when we first started dating I had all these expectations of him and when he couldn’t read my mind and figure them out I was always disappointed (insert me facepalming HARD). It’s so important to be clear about any expectations you have, otherwise you can’t really be upset when someone doesn’t meet them!
2. “Forgiveness and humility will always bring peace. This has been crucial in my marriage. Putting my spouse before myself even when my feelings are hurt.”– Chloe 25
I actually think I’m pretty good at forgiveness (and obviously really humble too). The second part of this I don’t think I’ve had many experiences with, Dawson hasn’t hurt my feelings recently enough for me to remember.
3. “I can tell you the worst marriage advice, which is actually one of the most often given: don’t go to bed angry. While yes, you don’t want to spend days angry at your spouse without working things out, but sometimes arguing into the night when you’re both tired and have work in the morning is WORSE for the situation. Get some rest, take the next morning/day to pray and think about the situation, and you’ll often find yourself with a cooler head or God changing your heart.”– Brooke 21
Don’t you just love the feeling of handing over all your yucky feelings to God? *insert happy sigh*
4. “Assume positive intent and never say something to purposefully hurt the other.”– Tailer 28
This might be one of my fav pieces of advice ever, it reminds me of that verse in the Bible, Proverbs 12:18, that says “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that I’ve caught myself on the verge of saying something intentionally hurtful many times.
5. “God first! Love God more than you love your partner.”– Caitlin 26
A-freakin-men, I’ve realized that when I’m prioritizing my relationship with God I love the people around me so much better.
6. “Be your husband’s biggest cheerleader. Someone will be, so make sure it’s you.”– Lilly 22
PREACH! I love this one!! It would totally break my heart if Dawson ever felt like he couldn’t get support for his passions from me.
7. “Always come together at the end of an argument to reiterate your love and care for each other. This can be with a hug, a kiss, or even just holding hands and saying ‘I love you.’ This reminds both of you that a fight isn’t about working against each other but rather about working together to figure out what your relationship needs.”– April 34
Dang April, that’s so smart. I don’t even think I realized I did that until I read your response. I wanna give Dawson a hug just reading this!
8. “I remember being really struck by the roles of love and respect inside a marriage. The respect that builds a husband up and helps him step into a new leadership role and the love a bride needs to blossom and become her best self. Another excellent piece of advice I’ve heard is to only argue naked with your spouse. That way you’ll find out what arguments are truly important enough to have.”– Sarah 22
I’ll have to give this one a try after our wedding haha!
9. “The phrase don’t go to bed angry is not good advice. The reality is you will go to bed angry. Some things can’t be fixed in one night. Instead learn when the conversation is no longer productive and say let’s pause this conversation, affirm what’s true….’I love you. I’m committed to us and figuring this out. I’m sorry you are hurt etc. can try this again in the morning.’ When we try to figure everything out and solve all the problems before going to bed we ended up hurting each other sooooo much more!”– Kaitlyn 30
Okay, what I want to know is if number 8 helps with number 9…get it?
10. “‘Die to yourself daily.’ It’s such a simple phrase, but truly there will never be any negative repercussions for being selfless in your marriage. There is a lot of transition when you go from being independent to being one with your new spouse…just always think about how YOU can grow or be selfless, not about how selfless THEY should be.”– Peyton 24
Truth bomb, my first instinct is to think in my head about the ways Dawson could’ve responded better or helped me with something instead of actively looking for ways I can serve him. Note to self: find three ways I can encourage/serve my SO today.